I'll Have Some Spam

One of the hardest things with being a porch man is keeping up with Modern jargon.
For Example Spam. I Love Spam, i think spam is great, it's meaty and mooshy and sometimes you get little congealed bits which are YUM. I Heard some people complaining about how they keep getting spam in their email and i thought "great you can send squigy food products through you computer" I look on sites all over and couldn't get any to send some spam, i only got some dodgy adds, lots of them, so i tried to send some spam to my friend i placed it in the CD drive and my computer didn't work for weeks. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME SOME SPAM